Piu Vongole

The linguini with clams could've used more clams. Otherwise, not bad.

Just heat up some olive oil, throw in as little or as much garlic as you can stand, and cook for about five minutes. After that, add wine and let that cook down a bit. Throw in canned clams that you cut up into small pieces, along with the clam juice and a half can's worth of water. Cook that for a couple of minutes. Now, throw two generous spoonfuls of tomato paste in.

You didn't forget to boil water and throw in the linguine, did you? Hope not.

Anyway, you let the sauce thicken and throw it on the linguini you forgot to prepare.

How stupid ARE you?

Who Eats These?

These are the worst fake-slim jim things I have ever eaten. They have zero flavor, all fat, and leave a soapy aftertaste in your mouth. Purchased at "Abbeyland," off a random highway in the middle of Wisconsin.

NOT Carnitas--(SAT)

No, I didn't feel like posting the other phase of the carnitas experiment -- yet. The embedded video should hold you over until then.

The subject of which is what people should eat every morning, not just after "a party." I've eaten two every morning since last Friday. If you don't or "can't", then you suck.

Here:

Carnitas. Whaaa? Phase I

Stage 1. Bought some pork shoulder from the Palisades Safeway. Interesting they even had any since there is a, albeit minority, population of "God's chosen" around. Whatever. Look at this beauty:




I chose to trim and clean the shoulder, leaving the gristle and bone behind. I saved the trimmings for who knows what. Pork fat works with anything.

Here is the result. Left side went into the pan, right side went into the freezer (sausage meat?)




I added some bacon grease I'd saved from prior cooking experiments:



All the chunks were added into the casserole, with spices, salt, and plenty of fresh garlic. I'm off to the post office and the pork is off to simmer for a couple hours. Unattended cooking?

Who dat?

Nope. It's not chili. Everyone's been making chili over the past few days, but 'dat 'dere is a egg salad sandwich. Or is it? It's egg salad, but the normal, square, loaf-bread slices are absent. That, my friend, is a hamburger bun. So is it an egg salad burger? salad burger? ham & egg burger? I dont know nor do I care. All I know is that it's pretty good -- sour cream, mayo, eggs, mustard, scallions and some Tony Chachere's seasoning (or whatever it's called).

Excuse me, because I have to finish eating it now. KTHXBAI

Yung Gai Pro Prik

Shit.

The picture should've been taken before I added the rice. Would've been better that way, and...whoa!

Wait. Just. A. Minute.

That title up there doesn't look right, does it? Oh, it's not. Looks like a Craig's List ad for a Bangkok Sex Tour.

That should actually read Gai Prik Prow. To keep it simple, let's just call it #35. In Engrish...(ahem) - in E-N-G-L-I-S-H - it's actually "Chicken stir-fried with onions in chili paste sauce".

Sorry, my (Mai!? - the hits, they just keep comin') Thai is a little rusty, so I don't know which of these correspond to the "Gai", "Prik" or "Prow" parts. That's for another time and Rosetta Stone.

So anyway, the lunch dish was good, and ordered with "medium" spiciness, there was a little kick. Normally, the order would've been placed with the max spiciness - or close to it - but this is all going down during work hours.

Let's just say that some of us would prefer not to have to excuse ourselves during a powerpoint presentation, because we're doubled-over with Thai spice-induced abdominal pain.

Makes us wonder if we'll truly understand the Eastern mind, or its lower GI.

This Made My Friend Sick

WTF?! Doesn't anyone visit this site? What are we doing this for? Our health?

So much for thinking it's great to be back after an inexplicable hiatus. No reason...just didn't update the blog for awhile. That's all.

Anyway, the wings pictured above - yes - made my friend sick.

Well, not exactly. This was my plate of wings from the Hilton Garden Inn happy hour in DC, where they were also half-price. They didn't make me sick, but this friend was bitching about his plate of wings way before they came back up this morning - mostly undigested, no less. Nancyboy.

Anyway, the wings were kind of deep fried, but the coating wasn't crunchy at all, really. They weren't hot, spice-wise. The taste wasn't bad. They just kinda made me feel like, well, meh. At least they didn't make me sick.

Will we go back? Most likely not. For all my friend's shortcomings, at least he's a learning creature. Besides, I might not be so lucky next time, I mean, if there was one. A next time, that is.